Training up Our Children

In Ephesians 6:4 we are commanded to bring our children up in the nurture and admonition of the Father. Eph. 6:4 says--"and ye fathers provoke not your children to wrath but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." We sometimes as parents do not take this commandment as serious as we should. I believe this verse is saying we are to teach our children to know God and His ways. We should be teaching them to fear and obey God. They will not fear and obey God until they know who He is. Children need to be taught to obey their parents. If our children are not taught to obey us how will they ever obey the Lord? The answer is they won't. Obedience has to be taught to our children. When our children are not obedient they need to be disciplined. If we love our children we will discipline them.

Proverbs 13:24--"He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly."

This verse has spoken to my heart about my own children. As a mother of 5 children this verse is very convicting to me. I believe what God is saying in this verse is that if I do not discipline my children then I am not showing love to them, rather hatred. I am to discipline my children because I love them. That goes against our culture. Our culture looks down on parents who discipline their children. In fact most people say, "I love my children to much to spank them." This kind of statement goes totally against God's written word. If we are not disciplining our children then we are in direct disobedience to what God has called us to do as parents. We have to choose every minute of every day to be promptly obedient to God. I like the word "promptly" in this verse. It means with little or no delay. We are to immediately stop whatever we are doing and discipline our Children. Yes this means work! This means we have to get out of our comfort zone. Many of us do not want to discipline our children because it is hard work and we don't want to be bothered. We want to have children but want to raise them according to what is convenient for us instead of what is right.

My pastor, Aaron Turner, says, "Love is finding our joy in the joy of others." Are we truly showing our children that we love them by being too consumed with our own comfort and joy to discipline them? When we are consumed with what makes us happy at their expense, we are being self-centered and selfish. Are we receiving joy at the expense of their joy? If so, then it is not love.

I believe we are to shepherd our children's hearts. Their behavior is not the root of the problem, it is merely a result of the problem. We need to get to the heart of the behavior. The issue is the heart. The condition of their heart determines their behavior, therefore their behavior is an expression of what is in their heart. I think to many times our focus is on changing our children's behavior, rather than being concerned with the attitude of their heart. What our Children say and do is a reflection of what is in their little hearts.

Luke 6:45--"A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks."

We as Christians need to be embracing the biblical methods God has lined out for us in scripture. This means we need to be saturating ourselves in the scripture and in prayer. We need to be communicating with our children in order to teach them. We communicate with our children by encouraging, correcting, instructing, and warning them. I know a lot of families that only come together for dinner and that is the only communication that they have. I believe God has given us two methods for raising our children: communication and the rod.

We are to use scripture to show our children what is in their heart and what God says about their sin. We need to be teaching the Bible to our children. Teaching the Bible to our children is not an option it is a requirement. The Bible is to be our main resource for raising our children , but I also want to recommend two other books that have helped my husband and I with raising our own children. These are books that have greatly helped us and that we will continue to use in rearing our children. Shepherding a Child's Heart -- written by Tedd Tripp, and Teach Them Diligently -- written by Lou Priolo (this book teaches you how to use the scripture in child training). The Bible in my opinion contains all that you will ever need to know about raising children that glorify God.

Proverbs 22:6--"Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it."

This verse gives us hope because if we are obedient to God in raising our children, then we are promised they will never depart from it. The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever, with this in mind, we must set the example before our children and obey God ourselves. God has made us His agents to act on His behalf in teaching our children. Are we taking care of and teaching His children what they need to know so that they will bring glory to Him with their lives?


The Home

"Society's unit - the home our foundation
Is in dire condition in this last generation.
Family altar has almost disappeared,
This is how all past saints were reared.

No time in most homes for love and affection,
Or parental training to give direction.
Discipline hardly ever is given
Try any means to get children to heaven.

To beat rebellion out with the rod
Won't kill the child, but lead him to God.
Yes train them up in the way they should go
And the way won't depart from them, you know.

Correction drives away foolishness
(Not Benjamin Spock's "permissiveness")
Teach and practice the Golden Rule.
Regularly take them to Sunday School.

Let perfect love rule the home's atmosphere
It shall come to remembrance many a year
In the future to their son or daughter
Let's pray faithfully as we ought to.

The mothers, are to be teachers at home,
(Not worldly babysitters who let their hearts roam.)
Children look up to their parent the way
We look up to God, and at all times may.

It be known who are their associates
And where they are - they appreciate
And respect your chastening and concern.
Everyone needs God's truth to learn.

Provoke not ever a child to wrath.
But set an example down God's path
To heaven by obeying His Word.
An unbroken circle shall be your reward."

From Poems of Praise and Admonition
Written by Joseph E. Grosso


Serving Our Lord Together,
Michelle Harrison